It’s Her Party, But I’ll Cry If I Want To.

It's her party

In three days my daughter turns one year old. It’s unbelievable to even say it.

It’s true what people say: that it goes by so fast, enjoy the little moments while you can, that they don’t stay little for long. It’s all true. 


Our daughter started getting teeth when she was between 6-7 months old. She grew up a lot that day – no longer was she the gummy mouthed little baby we had before. She was still little, but part of her babyness was gone. She was growing up!


She is at the point now where it seems she needs us for less and less. At dinner time, she feeds herself with a fork and takes her juice bottle herself. It’s so exciting to see her grow and learn, but it comes with a sadness of watching our baby change into a little girl.


It’s a feeling I never really understood until now. There is no other moment in my life that compares to the moments I’ve experienced while being a mother.

I’ve built myself up, beaten myself down, cried over ridiculous things, and laughed at a lot of seemingly insignificant things. I’ve felt like wonder woman at times, and less than qualified many others. Motherhood brings about this roller coaster of emotions in a girl.

As time has quickly approached the day of her birth, both my husband and I have been touched by sentimentalism. We’ve made the movie montages, listened to sappy songs about daughters, danced with her in our arms in the kitchen – thinking that this would somehow help with our tangled mess of emotions.

We are trying our hardest to savor every last moment of her as a “baby” before the clock strikes midnight on her birthday. But I think there’s really no way to feel as if you’ve truly savored every possible moment with your child before they “grow up.” We try to – all at once – and it just doesn’t do this year justice. We’ve loved every moment our daughter has been a part of our family, and that will just have to be enough for now.

That being said, this weekend is as much about her birthday as it is about our initiation into the world of parenthood. So, if she cries I can cry too. When she opens presents, I’ll be satisfied knowing that the presents I wanted most are sitting right in front of me. God has blessed me immensely in my short time of living! By first giving me the wonderful gift of being a wife, to now the precious gift of being a mother for a year. I pray it is the beginning of many more.

We’re not spending money on a big, overdone themed birthday party. We aren’t buying her her own “smash cake” that she can totally waste. We aren’t buying her a first birthday outfit that she will only wear once, so that all her pictures turn out pinterest-perfect. We are going to decorate the house with balloons and streamers and free printable banners. We’re going to make cupcakes, and after singing “happy birthday” A will get to eat her own too! We are having her wear a special shirt and tutu with a princess headband so that she feels special and dressed up.

But we aren’t stressing ourselves out about it. We may not get any great pictures of her eating her cupcake, or pictures of her smiling right at the camera. And that’s ok! I’m not sure I’ve seen more than one picture of me on my first birthday! But that doesn’t mean my parents didn’t go above and beyond to make sure it was a great event. And we are going about this the same way. It’s her first birthday! She’s not going to remember anything about it besides what she sees in pictures.

This party, believe it or not, is more for us than it is her. And because of that, we want to make sure that it doesn’t cause arguments, ignite stressful moments, or take away from the excitement of our daughter accomplishing so much in her first year. We’re going to enjoy the party {even if I do cry a little}!


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