how to make sure your personality isn’t hindering your parenting

Hi, I’m Jessa and I’m an introvert.

And now, I’m also a mother.

I’ve been an introvert for a really long time, but never really knew what it meant, how to embrace it, or how to let that term energize me.

I always thought there was something wrong with me because I didn’t want to spend all my time around other people.

Or that large groups scared me.

Or that I would rather spend time alone than with others.

It’s taken me some time to come to this, but let me tell you: there’s nothing wrong with being an introvert.

Or an extrovert.

The world needs both.

The workplace needs both.

The church needs both. Children need an example of both.

It just recently sank in that becoming a mother didn’t change the fact that I’m still an introvert.

And what that meant was that I would need to monitor myself a littler more closely until I figured out what ways helped me parent to the best of my ability, and still reserve my sanity.

My one-year-old typically takes two naps a day. One in the morning and one in the afternoon. Each nap typically lasts for two hours (or longer if I’m lucky). That’s my time to get work done, relax, eat, and feed the baby.

Lately, she has been boycotting her afternoon nap more and more.

Suddenly, I started finding myself angry and completely out of whack on the days that she didn’t nap.

Not only was I physically exhausted from chasing her more hours of the day – I was getting mentally exhausted and I didn’t understand why.

I felt guilty for being mad at her for not laying down. Who in their right mind would protest a nap if given the opportunity? (a toddler, that’s who).

I would greet my husband after work with a scowl, and glare at my daughter from across the room. I felt selfish.

But as a mommy I’m still an introvert.

Which means I need my time. And that’s super important.

I need time to myself, even if it’s just an hour staring at the wall while I feed a baby.

I need time to process everything that has happened during the day leading up to this point. I need  it, or my strength starts to waver.

Figuring this out has made for more enjoyable afternoons. And more enjoyable afternoons make for a happy home.

Unlike what I thought at first, it’s not selfish to take care of yourself. To take care of yourself means that are more able to take care of others. When you are a mom, that is crucial!

Realizing this has made all the difference for me.

Not much has changed in the way of my toddler not wanting to take her naps, but when she does lay down I realize how valuable that time to myself is, and I’m able to fully take advantage of it – making sure that I’m ready to be the mommy my littles need.

Once I figured out the thing that helped me, I had to be sure not to fight it and push it aside until later.

When you figure out what works for you, your personality type and your parenting style, be sure to take full advantage of it!

Whether it’s prioritizing “me time,” setting aside time with the friends that reenergize you, or focusing on your hobbies, don’t let those things slip.

Fit it into your schedule – write it on your calendar! Pin it in your planner. Make this a priority for yourself and for your family.

Did this cause you to think about how your personality type might be affecting your parenting? Let me know by leaving a comment!

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2 thoughts on “how to make sure your personality isn’t hindering your parenting

  1. I think it is ok to want to spend time to oneself. I too love being just with me!!! I have to be sure though that I don”t become so comfortable that I forget there is a world out there. God didn’t mean for us to be loners. There are people who need us, who we can influence and tell about Jesus and what he has done for us. There will be seasons when being a mom you will wonder egad why did I do this? Then those moments pass quickly and we know these little people are worth everything. As they grow and get in school you will have more time to pursue your passions. Then you will look around one day and poof they are all grown up. I don’t think you should ever feel guilty about just have me time though.


    1. Carol, I agree! It’s hard for me too sometimes to want to spend time with others, but it is important for us to have community with others too 🙂


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